


Party Games

by MasKaiHilFantic



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 20:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15150761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasKaiHilFantic/pseuds/MasKaiHilFantic
Summary: A simple bet. Two swelling egos. One mayhem-fueled story.





	Party Games

“A staring contest?” Double D said in disbelief,   
“Apparently so,” replied Riza Hawkeye.

“He challenged Roy to a staring contest? Oh boy…” Double D rubbed his eyes with his two forefingers.

“Yes,” the blonde lieutenant replied, not so pleased herself.

Edd sighed, “Oh boy…why—how did this all start?”

“I’ll tell you…”

* * *

_“So, I heard you’re a master in party games.” Hummed the fire alchemist._  
“Yeah so?”  
“So,” Roy paused, a naughty smile smeared over his face, “how about accepting a challenge from me?”

_“Oh no,” Riza sighed, seeing trouble over this.  
“Isn’t anyone going to stop this?” Major Alex Louis Armstrong leaned and asked the lieutenant._

_“Not me,” said Maes Hughes, standing near the two, “Eddy’s supposed to have his friend take care of him, but he’s out for a cup of coffee.”_

_“What about him?” Major Armstrong pointed at Ed who was poking into Alphonese’s armour._

_“Eh… he’s not very bright,” Maes commented as Ed began hitting his finger against Edward Elric’s arm._

_“Agh! What type of a leech are you?!” Ed Elric screeched at the curious Ed, frustrated._

_“I’m not a leech; I am fullmetal mega-man!” Ed cheerfully announced, earning visibly stressed looks from the Elric brothers._

_“More like fullmetal moron,” Eddy murmured at his aloof friend from the corner of his eye before turning to the man of the hour,_  
“Now Mr. Mustang, I see you have proposed a challenge to me right?”  
“Hm hm,” the flame alchemist smirked, “yes: a staring contest.”  
“Accepted.”

* * *

“And neither of you bothered to stop either of them?” Edd gave a exasperated look at the other alchemists.   
“Hey,” Maes chimed in, “we tried to stop your friend, but apparently he’s as stubborn as Roy.”

“He’d make an excellent flame alchemist,” Major Armstrong added, “He’s got the temper for it.”

“Besides, our Colonel is rock-hard,” Riza added.

“Yes well Eddy proclaims to have ‘balls of steel’ as well,” Edd stated before noticing Ed Elric cheering Roy on.

“What’s with that?”

“Edward betted on Roy to beat your little buddy,” Riza informed, “apparently he thinks that since one of you isn’t um, the sharpest tool in the shed, he assumed all of you to be the same.”

“Wait you’re talking about Ed?” Edd inquired, the three alchemists nodded, “why he’s—say, where is Ed?”

“Whee!”

“Elicia!” Maes cried as soon as he heard his daughter cheer like that, “Honey, are you alright? Are you—“

“Daddy, look!”

“You’re playing with _Ed?_ ”

“He seems to be careful,” Riza said seeing the young Hughes piggyback ride the non-fullmetal Ed.

“But-but!” Maes stuttered,

“It’s alright daddy,” Elicia attempted to alleviate her father’s worries,  
“He’s really nice, plus he’s so fun!”

“Yeah,” Ed also added, “she’s sweeter than honey and fuzzy like the mush between my toenails.” The last comment made the rest cringe,  
“Eww, gross!” Elicia stuck her tongue out in apparent grossness, “you have mush between your toenails? I saw some once whilst feeding my cat.”

“Uh…” Maes wondered if his parenting wasn’t enough.

“Well uh, she seems to be in good hands,” Edd nervously said, before turning attention to the ongoing staring contest.

* * *

The room was filled with a pregnant, deafening silence for Roy Mustang & Eddy McGhee. Pupils fixed at one another. Eyes twitched before easing out. Sweat trickled down their faces. Their ears deaf. Their skin numb. Their tongues dry. Blood rushed through their veins. Their hearts pumped at a superhuman rate. Intensity itself awed at their resolve. Their breathing slowed down, not even the loud encouragement from Ed Elric and Elicia’s play with Ed didn’t seem to budge the alchemist and the scammer.

“What’s the matter, Skipper? Bit off too much you can chew?” Roy mocked Eddy when he twitched.  
“I don’t get babysitted by a girl.” The confident Eddy chuckled back, instantly getting a jerky scowl from Roy.

“He’s talking about me,” Riza toothed out with a visible scowl over her face.

“Well, if it makes you any better Eddy thought that he was on a date with his babysitter.” Edd whispered back, earning a tranquil smirk from Hawkeye.

“Yay!” Elicia cheered in the background as she piggybacked the taller Ed.

“Hm hm,” Roy smirked once again, “you’ll have to accept defeat Eddy.” Now those were some fighting words for the short Ed; as soon as he heard them he was just so near to closing his eyes, they immediately snapped open.

“Grr,” Eddy’s fist balled up and his teeth gritted, but he was now giving the flame alchemist a tough time.

Roy twitched a bit, and suddenly he felt for the first time that this was indeed, a competition. Edward Elric’s face fell.

“C’mon Colonel! You got to beat this twirp!”

“Look who’s talkin’. As far as maturity goes you’re the twirp here.”  
“What?!”  
“Only an idiot bets on a staring contest,” Eddy scoffed at the fullmetal alchemist, and his plan worked.

“Oh fuck you!” the impatient Elric fumed.  
“Brother please,” Alphonse tried to hold his brother back, which was quite hard with Elicia & Ed clanging on his metal armour.

“Sweetie, don’t!” Maes attempted to stop the small child,

“They’re not doing anything special,” Eddward said.  
“Hm, only  because your friend is with her,” Major Armstrong despite his personality caustically remarked.

“Oh stop it,” Riza told the muscular Armstrong off, “he’s not doing any damage,” Edd once again casted a condensing smile at the Hawkeye.

“Hey guys!”

“Well, hello Winry.”

Winry walked in the room catching Roy and Eddy scoffing off insults across each other.

“Fused lighter,”  
“Three-haired monkey,”  
“Faux Fonzie,”  
“Petulant Ponzi,”  
“Second place alchemist!”

“Uh… did I miss anything?” A confused Winry asked.  
“You don’t want to know, but I’ll tell you anyway,” Riza said before filling her in on the whole scene.  
“Why Ed?” Winry wasn’t disappointed in Roy’s choices, rather with Ed Elric’s immaturity.  
  


“Scared Skipper!”  
“Riza’s baby!!”

“Oh! You didn’t.” Roy was definitely taken aback, so was Riza.

“Mmhmm” Eddy impishly forked a tongue at him.

“That’s it!” Roy Mustang slammed his fists on the table before generating a scorching fire wall behind him  
“It’s time to take you to school: alchemy school!” The flames burned brighter, enough for any ordinary stubborn fool to cover his eyes. But not Eddy.

“Wha? That’s cheating!” Edd objected, “aren’t you going to stop him?”  
“I don’t know Eddward,  maybe he bargained for more than he could afford,” Riza replied coldly.  
“Besides, he _did_ call me his babysitter,” Riza stared at Double D with cold, remorseless eyes.

“Why I never!” Eddward fumed,  
“Hey don’t take it personally,” Maes once again chimed in,  
“After all, it’s only a game,” said Major Armstrong. Eddward was already hatching a revenge plot.

Eddy’s eyes had dried out; he had been in a staring contest with the flame alchemist for about ten minutes now and it looked like that Roy was taking home the trophy. Even though technically he was cheating, nevertheless a fellow conman Eddy appreciated his cheating.

But he wasn’t aware that the tides were about to turn in his favour.

“It’s fair, huh?” Edd muttered, “I’ll make you eat those words.” With that he snuck away from the state alchemists, even though they were into the ongoing battle so much that he’d walked in front of them and they wouldn’t flinch.

“These alchemists messed with the wrong trio,” Double D said to himself as he quickly casted a glance at his friend with Elicia, still playing tunes on the metallic Elric brother’s armour whom had his face buried in his palms. There was no point in telling them to stop.

“Perfect,” Edd was now a foot or two behind the flaming wall and its cocky source.

“Give up Eddy Skipper,” Roy whistled at the losing Eddy, stressing the last word as an insult. Eddy felt as if he was about to lose his reputation as the ‘King of Party Games’ as well his dignity. He swallowed hard as he bended away from the approaching Mustang, “have mercy Eddy, and just give up.”

“Yeah! Lose already loser!” Edward Elric threatened

Suddenly from the corner of his blurry vision Eddy noticed a ski hat waving a…

Could it be? Yes.

A hundred dollar bill.

Eddy suddenly felt a rush of energy surge through his veins, he slapped his hands before arching up and looking the flame alchemist blurry vision and all, dead in the eye.

“Game on sucker,”  
“Huh?”  
Eddy crawled up on the table and was now face to face, staring at Roy’s widening eyes. _“Where did he get this energy from? He was just about to lose.”_

“Heh, who’s in a mood to groove huh?” Eddy mocked as he would cast one eye at his opponent and another at the faint image of the dollar waving in the air.

“What the?!” Riza and the others were in shock! How did Eddy manage to make a comeback after on the verge of losing?

“Something’s not right,” Riza deducted, before scanning the room for anything out of order. Then it hit her.

“Hey!” She called at the ski-hat wearing Ed from afar, Eddward fidgeted in hurry.

“Stop that!” The state alchemist ran at him.   
“Gah!” Double D panicked, before running towards Roy.  “Eddy!”  
“Huh?” Eddy noticed Double D jump over Roy.  
“Hey! What the—” Roy got surprised as Eddward ended up crashing on the top of the two.

“Ah!”

All three collapsed breaking the table, “Scatter!” said Edward Elric dodging the debris as well as Roy’s fire wall, which immediately blew out.

“Ouch…” Double D was crushed under the combined weight of both Eddy and Roy.

“Ugh,” Roy grabbed his lower back groaning, “what happened?”  
“Roy , there’s something in your eye,” Eddy said,  
“What?” Roy rubbed his eyes, before realizing his fatal mistake.  
“Oh, no…”

“HA! You lose!”

“What? No!” Roy tried to defend himself, “you tricked me!”  
“No no, you lost.” Eddy wagged his finger with a smug, “I didn’t close my eyes when we crashed, you did. You lose.”

“Only because you tricked me!” Roy protested.

“Would you two please get off of me?” Eddward mouthed from under the two.  
“You lost!”  
“No he didn’t.” Riza clarified, “you both closed your eyes when you fell. It’s a tie.”   
“I saw Eddy close his eyes first,” Maes interrupted with Alex Armstrong nodding.

“Does it matter?” Winry chimed in, “it was a stupid game anyway.”

“It’s a matter of pride!” The contestants barked at the young blonde at the same time before smouldering at one another.

“Round two?”  
“You’re on!”

“Enough!” a deep voice boomed into the room, followed by the sound of a sword grating against the floor.

“Sir!” The alchemists stood in attention, with Roy standing up swiftly and Eddy fell flat.

“Enough horseplay! I invite these three for a party and this is what I get?”   
“Apologies, Fuehrer Bradley” Riza spoke

“It won’t happen again sir,” Roy promised.  
“Well it better not!” warned King Bradley, “I was in the middle of a very important business meeting.”

“Rolf calls the well-brimmed mustached king for his foot massage session! Papa’s foots are molded and ready to be pressed and squeezed with the manly softness of the king’s burly hands! Hurry up!”  
Everyone paused and puzzledly stared at the fuehrer.

“Uh well you see, I—“ King Bradley nervously fumbled before maintain himself, “ahem! No more clanging noises! That’s an order!”  
“Sure…” Eddy rolled his eyes.

“Sir!” The alchemists once again saluted the king before he headed out,  
“Rolf!  Can you save that lard for your fuehrer? I love to feel it’s mushiness between my fingers!” With that the menacing King Bradley hopped to ‘attend his important business.’

“Mind explaining that oddball?” Eddy thumbed at the fuehrer.

“Uh, it’s a long story,” Roy sighed and rubbed the back of his head, “I could use a drink.”  
“Me too,” Eddy nodded.

“What was that about?” Eddward asked the state alchemists.

“It’s like what Colonel Mustang said,” stressed Riza, “a long story.”

“Well I could a glass of water or something,” Eddward’s hand pinched his forehead,  
“You could have a root beer,” Maes suggested, “it’s not hard, it’ll do just right for someone like you.”

“Hm,”

“So, the contest?” Edward Elric immediately asked,

“Sorry fullmetal, it’s a draw.” Roy shrugged,  
“Ugh!” The fullmetal alchemist head slapped, “no fair! I betted on you Roy!”  
“Hey you win some, you lose some,” Roy casually shrugged again before pouring a drink out for himself and Eddy.  
“No fair!” Edward  Elric slammed his foot down before incoherently swearing the two.  
“Jesus, what a prima donna.” Eddy  rolled his eyes, “how do you deal with em?”  
“God knows,” Roy chuckled as they along with the alchemists and Eddward poured a drink for them, leaving Edward Elric protesting, Winry befuddled and Ed & Elicia now banging on Alphonse’s legs.


End file.
